i'm signing you up for texting rehab
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
