Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
