I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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