# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
That was before I lit my hair on fire
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
