it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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