He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
His nipple licking is glorious
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