despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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