Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
