ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
