Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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