I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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