I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
