super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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