so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Do vagina's smell?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize