I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
