So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
