I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
