Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
