you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
