doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
