She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
