I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
