Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
