I wish my penis had an off switch
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I need water and some morals
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize