hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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