Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
