i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize