At least make sure they are 18
Why
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
