I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We don't watch enough power rangers
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
