Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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