My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
