I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
