Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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