I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
