It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
