I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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