apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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