U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My bed smells like the plague
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
