This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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