I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
