You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
