My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
