My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
