That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
