sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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