South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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