Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
