I skipped work to stalk him.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
