I need to stop coming to work sober
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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