do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
