Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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