What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
