belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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