I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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