loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
