You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
