It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
