Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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