I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
