1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
