Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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