I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
