Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We smell like vodka and hangover
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
