I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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