Sorry, I don't speak sober.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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