i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
