its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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