Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
