And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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