girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize