Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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