Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
