I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
