You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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