I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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