5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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