we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
