you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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