I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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