i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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