Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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